Well, do I have a lot on my mind today. I have been knitting christmas scarves, trying to knit my first sweater AGAIN!! and thinking of all kinds of projects I want to try. Crazy. So many ideas, so little time.
Funny how grieving hits you. It has been three years now since my sister died and today I am so sad. I have no idea where it came from, or why. When it happened I spent almost two years in a fog. It was like I was at one end of a tunnel, the tunnel being me. I could see the other side but insted of moving through the tunnel it was as if the tunnel was moving and I kept following behind. Just viewing my life from a distance and today I have that sensation again. When I first started knitting I thought of Kelly, how much she would love this yarn that scarf, that sweater, etc. Now when I knit it is for her. It's my link to heaven or something. I think of projects and designs in her honor, every gift I give is a gift for her or from her. This is a poem that is for her. It is perfect
i carry your heart with me
by e. e. cummings
i carry your heart with me
(i carry it in my heart) i am never without it (anywhere i go you go, my dear; and whatever is done by only me is your doing, my darling)
i fear no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet) i want
no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you
here is the deepest secret nobody knows(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart
i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)
I could have never imagined that someone would write a poem that fit her and I so perfectly. Maybe it is corny, but I don't care anymore. She meant the world to me.
Now onto knitting.
I have found many wonderful cable knit scarves on http://smariek.blogspot.com/ I want all the girls to get one for christmas. Time wise the one I have completed has become second nature and by the middle I was knitting fast. So maybe I can just do that pattern in everyones favorite color and spare my self the agony of running out of time. Or maybe mittens. It is important to me to make my dad a pair of Selbuvotter mittens. I started one and it went great untill the tip. There are no instructions for decrease, only the chart and that was my first stranded, chart pattern I've done. Wish me luck. I am going to keep trying. Anyone out there have any experience with this?
Fall is on it's way and it is the perfect weather right now. I think we are going to enjoy a beautiful Indian Summer. I just love the sound of that. The images it conjures up in my mind. Almost day dreamy.
Well out of the dream and back to the drudgery of reality. Chores are calling, but my yarn and roving are screaming louder. Better get on it so I don't leave them waiting to long
